Are They Conning Us At Cannes?

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Let’s face it, Cannes France is about as far away from Clifton, NJ (where I live) as anyplace else I will probably never get to (and I just flew back from Ireland…and boy are my arms tired from all the Guiness). My point is, the famous movie premier festival spot is not going to be sending me invites anytime soon…nor should you be waiting for one. Sorry, we just aren’t in the jet set and probably will never be.

Which suits me fine. I am well over, done and out with celebrity culture. It really is too much. And with all the news feed stories I am being fed about this year’s Cannes movie wingding, the ‘bile be a rising’ like never before; if I have to read about one more celebrity coming to tears over a standing ovation from an audience that just sat through their movie premier, I think I’m gonna plotz!

Look, all this masturbatory adoration (yeah yeah, go ahead and give me sh** for combining those two words, but you know what I mean) was already at a sickening level. All the award shows we sit through come the beginning of the year, from Golden Globes to Amercian Music Awards, to Oscars, to Grammy’s, etc. pile up way too high. The way actors speak about their costars in interviews, gushing about how talented everybody is, how wonderfully funny and giving their fellows were to them on the set truly makes me suspicious. How, animated movies list actors as ‘starring in’ the film when the actors are lending just their voice talents (surely work of a certain order, I’ll grant you) but the actor voicing that part is not ‘starring,’ yet they are a big enough name, the film lists them as starring, as if they are in the movie and if buy you a ticket, you will enjoy that actor fully.

Jesus, isn’t any of this constant aprobation getting to anybody else?

I think this all came to a head for me when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars. The temerity of Smith to just walk on stage, in the middle of televised broadcast, slap another human being and not be hustled off stage, arrested, and the Oscar’s stopped right then and there, (and Smith still out there making movies, talking about he and Jada!) I’m sorry, that was it for me. It was a sad illustration of how entitled the Hollywood players think they are, how important that broadcast is over televised assault.

And this attitude continues at Cannes, as the best and brightest dress up, applaud, fawn, pose and act as if what they do is really important.

It’s movies kids. Entertainment. It’s not brain surgery. It’s not even as important as the pick-up your garbage person manages twice a week. How do I know? Just consider…if John Krasinski (who has now supposedly just reminded us all what it was like to have an imaginary friend from childhood) Margot Robbie or yes, even Will Smith stopped making movies tomorrow would it affect your life as much if your garbage person stopped picking up your garbage even for a week?

Maybe we should be applauding that guy or girl grabbing your cans every Tuesday and Friday night?

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